Learning Language and culture without structure

When I was in college I didn't study abroad, and I'm wondering just how different my experience is now than if I had spent a semester in Mexico 9 years ago when I was a junior at Williams. Obvious differences aside (longer stay, scheduled classes, college liver health and pre-sobriety) I wonder how much Spanish I would actually be speaking. I'm pretty sure most of the programs had many American students so I assume i never would have had the necessity of speaking Spanish or not talking at all. But have the years made my total immersion experience more difficult than if I had done this when I was 19 instead of 29. The one thing I do know is that I could not more fortunate in terms of the opportunity I have right. To live in 'downtown' Mexico City for seven weeks with family that care for me through custom, and through blood relation. My cousins are great. The 19 year old has become a younger brother I never had and my ability to finally get to know my great aunt, are the two stand out situations that have come out of this trip so far. My aunt and my older cousin that I'm also staying with are equally as important to me but I knew this from previous trips. But in the interest of fair sharing I wanted to mention how important they are to me. I've learned more about my Mexican family in 7 days than I had learned in 29 years. It sounds unbelievable but it really is an accurate statement. I've come to really love the city that used to make put my nose up like the arrogant, spoiled American I am. I know this is very cliche but I know already that this stay in my father's first country will change the way I approach life when I get back. If not my actions, my attitudes towards Mexico, Mexicans, and the American view towards both, will forever be different. Language barriers can prevent an open mind from being open at all. Now that I can communicate on a basic level with anyone I come into contact with in Mexico, everyone is becoming another human being with basic wants and needs. It is no longer a giant smelly city filled with millions of clones. To be able to communicate in another language, even at low level that I am at, feels amazing. I have said this before here and I will say it many times again- I cannot wait to talk to my dad in his first language. When I get frustrated trying to find the words in a conversation or when someone doesn't understand me, I think of my dad, my frustrations turn to motivation. I only wish my brothers had this same opportunity before they had careers and families. I feel like my idea of 'Mexicaness' will always be different from theirs and from what mine used to be. I only hope the next generation of Vazquez will be able to understand just how much their grandfather (mi papa) sacrificed. The same way I am able to recognize and be grateful for how much my Lithuanian grandparents sacrificed for the sake of their children and their grandchildren. I hate to say it but I suppose it only takes one generation in my family to become a self centered American with an idea of what came before us but with our minds focused on what is ours and what we get to have. Mexico had fallen right into place with my shift in attitude over the last 8 months regarding what is important and what is not 'real' life.
Overwhelmed, but constantly grateful. It feels wonderful.

Sent from my iPhone