April 13..."Wow that's pretty cool, I can't hardly wait"

"well you don't have to...  Because here it is."


So we have indeed arrived at our final blog post from the comfort of my particularly uncomfortable room.  It is currently 4:00 (I changed my iphone over to 24 hour time so I'm cool like that and don't have to write A.M. or P.M.  I hate that it makes so much sense to use 'Military Time" but then you can't lie or mislead through ambiguous answers like, wife: "what time did you get home yesterday, dear?".  Husband: (with confidence and future plausible deniability): "4, I was exhausted and went right to bed, maybe I'm coming down with something"
You catch what I'm saying.

So back to the fact that I'm scheduled for a flight in less than 8 hours.
Truth be told, it has been a strange series of up and down emotional reactions to the anticipation of this trip for the past couple of weeks. (past or passed?  well, by this time tomorrow no one will care if speak english)  They will only care about things like:
1---what kind of car I drive in the U.S?
and 2---why do I want to get a sun tan, tans make you look darker?
and 3----"you want to buy some acapulco gold?"
and 4---- "why aren't you wearing a wool jacket? its almost below 80 degrees F."
and 5-----"why are you only eating foods that are supposed to make you feel alive and healthy?"
and 6-----"why the F&*@$ do you want to find a store for pinatas...you racist half mexican, half non-mexican!". 

I've already prepared my answers to each of those inevitable questions and many of their close relative variations.

To the above for example,:

1-----I drive a lot of brand new sports cars,  I can't even name them all.  Of course all americans are rich and of course its fun to talk about cars, and of course I like having this conversation and of course this city smells wonderful.
2-----because i'm hot when i'm bronzed and, the entire U.S. (except for in Mississippi, and my grammar school, where the nuns called me the colored boy) people are down with the brown and vanity is more important than the almost completely dead last generation of public racists.
3-----Maybe yesterday I would have.  Come back then.  But don't forget, I'm checking out of my hotel last wednesday.  And me police.  And me no have money.  And please shower before you solicit me to buy your acapulco gold that was grown in colombia (oh snap).
4-----Because I do things that make sense, especially when it involves clothing that relates to the weather (Fs not Cs) by not more than 10 degrees of common sense and comfort.  And no, I'm sorry, but I, along with everyone trying to show off an out of season (pun intended) fashion item aren't noticing you.  In fact you probably haven't been noticed in weeks even though you think you stand out.
5-----Because I see that nice wool coat that the other a-hold has on even though its too hot?  Well, I gave that to good will when I lost 70 pounds and realized i don't care if its rude to say 'no' to someone offering you food if you are visiting them.  or if its a holiday, or if they want to make you fat and then tell you that you should lose weight.
6-----I like pinatas.  but yes, I'm racist, but only toward the race of people wearing winter coats in scorching temperatures.  So, where can I but pinatas?


Ok, so i won't answer like that (mainly because I don't know how to translate that yet). but soon.

I have to finish packing and enjoy pasteurized and homogenized milk while i still can, so I'll leave you with a photo that I need a lot of help understanding:
I wanted to be responsible and get a collection of items that some internet sites said were crucial for survival in Mexico.  There catch phrase was something like, "if you want to fit in but still have the special luxuries of a real 1st world country, you must pack this when you travel to mexico."
I don't know which is which.  Do i fit in with the toilet paper, purell, and soap, or will I be the 1 in 2000 that has a clean bum, bacterialess hands, and soap to carry around and look cool. ;)

well, the next post will be from the 'road'. 
sorry about this post- it is witless, long, boring, and self-deprecating and racist toward my own culture.  (sounds like the majority of mexican tv.   Sorry, we should use something a little less derogatory than "Mexican") (that jokes from the office btw)